Where in the world is (*uuuh*) Dick Cheney?

[c-lando]

Aside from all the talk about Halliburton, where in the world is Dick Cheney?

If you spot him in a news article or on the news or anywhere there is daylight, post it here.

[monkey neck]

I was just thinking about that the other day!

I almost forgot we had a VP. Maybe he's in the "Undisclosed Location" in Omaha. Or maybe getting a transplant.

Maybe he prerecorded some statements like Saddam did to make everyone think he's still alive.

[dcXhc]

Originally posted by c-lando
Aside from all the talk about Halliburton, where in the world is Dick Cheney?

If you spot him in a news article or on the news or anywhere there is daylight, post it here.

Cheney's been dead since late-2001. The "undisclosed location" is six feet below ground. They got that one guy from SNL to make occasional appearances to keep the death on the low-low.

[postfeminist]

From CNN.com

Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney are lobbying key House Republicans hard to ensure passage of the budget blueprint next week, according to senior White House and congressional sources.

even better when you shizzolate (http://www.asksnoop.com) that shit...

Big Baby Bush 'n Vice President Dick Cheney are lobbying key House Republicans hard ensure passage of da budget blueprint next week, according senior White House 'n congressional sources."

so there you have it. cheney is "lobbying."

yeah, he's dead for sure.

[lawdog]

C, people have been asking that same question (http://archives.annatopia.com/000048.html) for over a year now. Of course a deceased Cheney may not be a bad thing. There are some who argue that he is the most incompetent (http://www.washingtonmonthly.com/features/2001/0301.marshall.html) member of the Bush Administration, a dubious and rare distinction, to be sure.

[c-lando]

Thanks, postfeminist.

Lawdog - thanks for the link. :)

[butter_of_69]

Gosh, I miss Rockapella.

[IPrayForSound]

So, how is the onion doing these days? ;)

[c-lando]

http://www.guardian.co.uk/Iraq/Story/0,2763,933021,00.html

[c-lando]

http://us.news2.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/ap/20030409/capt.1049903303.war_cheney_nu101.jpg

I'd be happier if he were holding up today's newspaper in the photo.

[dcXhc]

You people laughed at me when I said he's been dead since 2001. Would CNN lie?

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/art2/cnnobit1.jpg

No, CNN wouldn't lie :rolleyes: But they would get obit mock-ups ready for several notable people and then accidentally put them up on their site.

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/cnnobit1.html

[IPrayForSound]

I don't know what to say.


Really...

http://www.thecollectorsdream.com/Nodcheney.jpg

[c-lando]

http://www.ajc.com/news/content/news/0703/08cheney.html

OK. Fine. The machine checks out. But, did they remember to check CHENEY for a pulse?

[Candyass]

I think it has never been Cheney...just an evil robot replacement.

[drworm8]

Originally posted by postfeminist


even better when you shizzolate (http://www.asksnoop.com) that shit...




try this with the 97x website... I laughed my ass off....:D

[bluewilco]

Dick Cheney has been dead for ages--he's the gov't's version of Paul McCartney (or Bernie from Weekend @ Bernie's).

Number 9!

[lawdog]

Cheney family offers $25-million reward for Vice-President's whereabouts. <link (http://www.gwbush04.com/archives/000132.php)>

[c-lando]

I thought I would resurrect this thread just for the latest, AND TOTALLY GREATEST, story about the VP...

Apparently, we were all much safer when he was in hiding. I wonder if this is the same dude that told Dick to fuck himself after the Katrina. :)

[matt]

He's hiding in Aaron Burr's shadow.

[monkey neck]

He's hiding in Aaron Burr's shadow.

LOL. That's brilliant. :D

[Homsar]

Guess he's like a referee. When you hear about him, he messed up.

[c-lando]

I'm sure this is old, but it cracked me up and made me think of this thread.

https://shop.bestweekever.tv/INVENTORY_IMAGES/TBWCSHOTG.JPG

[fedsmack]

errr... I'm right here, been here all along! Had a little heart trouble, so they replaced it with the heart of a pig...works real swell.

[lutz]

errr... I'm right here, been here all along! Had a little heart trouble, so they replaced it with the heart of a pig...works real swinely.Fixed that for ya.

[fedsmack]

Here I am! I am everywhere, Cheney-Jihad!

[twentyshots]

so 20 minutes ago i said to my gal "where the fuck has dick cheney been" because you just have to do that anymore...
a quick news search revealed this:
link (http://http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/nation/la-na-cheney4feb04,1,6260711.story?track=crosspromo)

Was encounter with Cheney a touch, a slap or a shove?


By DeeDee Correll, Los Angeles Times Staff Writer
February 4, 2008

DENVER -- No one can agree on what exactly happened the day a Colorado man spotted Dick Cheney strolling the streets of a ski resort town and decided to give the vice president a piece of his mind.

Steve Howards, 55, says he walked up to Cheney and delivered his message -- "Your policies in Iraq are disgusting" -- then lightly touched the vice president's shoulder.

The White House photographer says he saw Howards slap Cheney on the back.

Cheney's personal aide remembers Howards placing his hand on Cheney's arm and shaking his hand.

As for the Secret Service agents who arrested Howards on suspicion of assault: two say he lightly clapped Cheney on the shoulder; one demonstrated it as a shove; a fourth said Howards reached over several small children and struck Cheney.

Since the agents -- now accusing one another of changing their stories and lying about what happened -- can't agree, Cheney should give his own version, Howards said.

He has filed a federal lawsuit against the agents, claiming they violated his right to free speech and protection from unreasonable search and seizure.

"He's the so-called victim of the assault. Clearly the vice president should have very relevant testimony to give," said Howards' attorney, David Lane, who this month asked a federal judge to order U.S. marshals to serve a subpoena to the White House.

Getting the vice president in a witness box would be a historic achievement.

It's exceedingly rare for high-level officials to testify or give depositions, said Tom Fitton, president of Judicial Watch, a Washington group that advocates for transparency in government.

Fitton said he could not recall any instance in which Cheney had given a deposition while in office.

He said that to compel such a high-ranking executive branch official to testify, one must show that that official has information that couldn't be obtained in another way -- the same argument Cheney's attorney made in U.S. District Court last week.

Biz Van Gelder, a Washington lawyer who specializes in white-collar criminal defense, disagrees.

"I know of no law that says the vice president of the United States is immune from service process because he's the vice president," she said.

One question the courts will consider is how much of an intrusion it is on the schedule of the vice president to be called to testify, said Joel Goldstein, a law professor at St. Louis University and an expert on the vice presidency.

Perhaps the best-known example of a president or vice president giving a deposition in recent times is former President Clinton's 1998 testimony in the sexual harassment lawsuit filed against him by Paula Jones, an event whose anniversary is still noted in "Today in History" newspaper columns.

Another example is the 1990 testimony of former President Reagan as a defense witness in the trial of former national security advisor John M. Poindexter.

And last year, speculation swirled that Cheney would testify at the criminal trial of his former aide, I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby, but that didn't happen.

Experts noted that situations such as the Howards-Cheney exchange are rare.

"These sorts of things don't happen that often because they have a pretty sheltered existence," Goldstein said.

............more at link

[c-lando]

Woohoo for the Cheney BUMP!

I meant to post about him after the State of the Union. That's the only time of year that you are guaranteed to see him, smirking, clapping and nodding his big head.

[Buzzstein]

Good thing Cheney didn't have a shotgun.

[c-lando]

http://punditkitchen.files.wordpress.com/2008/05/political-pictures-dick-cheney-smiling.jpg

[Fourthisto]

Experts noted that situations such as the Howards-Cheney exchange are rare.

"These sorts of things don't happen that often because they have a pretty sheltered existence," Goldstein said.Is Goldstein talking about the VP, or referring to 55 Year old men? They don't get out much, huh. I think I'll call my dad. :o

[classicgrrl]

I thought Chaney was dead?

[epeolatry]

i think he's a robot.

[Sushi]

I thought Chaney was dead?
Lon? Yeah, he's long gone.

[drougan]

Lon? Yeah, he's long gone.

Really?

I saw Lon Chaney walking with the Queen.

[frizgolf]

Really?

I saw Lon Chaney walking with the Queen.

His hair was perfect.

And he was enjoying every sandwich.

[drougan]

Hmm,

I'd like to meet his tailor.

[juggles]

Hmm,

I'd like to meet his tailor.

But is it really worth getting your lungs ripped out over?

[drougan]

But is it really worth getting your lungs ripped out over?

Probalby not. I guess I'd better stay away from Mayfair.

[twentyshots]

classiest VP ever!

By DEB RIECHMANN –

WASHINGTON (AP) — Vice President Dick Cheney threw a verbal insult at West Virginians on Monday, but quickly apologized.
Talking about his family roots and how he's distantly related to Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama, the vice president noted that he had Cheneys on both sides of his family.
"And we don't even live in West Virginia," Cheney quipped.
"You can say those things when you're not running for re-election."
West Virginia Gov. Joe Manchin, a Democrat, quickly asked Cheney to apologize.
"I truly cannot believe that any vice president of the United States, regardless of their political affiliation, would make such a derogatory statement about my state or any state for that matter," he said.
On Capitol Hill, Cheney's comment was denounced by both Democrats and Republicans.
"This is exactly the type of stereotyping that we don't need from our elected officials," said Rep. Shelley Moore Capito, R-W.Va. "It's disrespectful, and it's certainly not funny. ... As a proud state, I can say we are disappointed."
Sen. Robert Byrd, D-W.Va., blasted Cheney, saying that for a vice president to openly display "such contempt and astounding ignorance toward his own countrymen" was an insult to all Americans.
"Now that he or the administration he represents no longer needs their vote, Mr. Cheney apparently feels that he is now free to mock and belittle the people of West Virginia," Byrd said.
"The vice president's offhand comment was not meant to hurt anyone," Cheney spokeswoman Lea Anne McBride said later Monday. "On reflection, he concluded that it was an inappropriate attempt at humor that he should not have made. The vice president apologizes to the people of West Virginia for the inappropriate remark."
In a question-and-answer session after giving a speech at the National Press Club, Cheney said also joked that he wouldn't object to a family reunion with Obama, but said he didn't think the candidate would be up for one — "at least not before November."
"He'd probably be fearful I might whisper in his ear and change his whole view of the Middle East," Cheney said.
He said that when his wife, Lynne, was doing research on a book, she discovered that his grandmother was descended from a man named Richard Cheney. "So I had Cheneys on both sides of the family," he said.

[markalot]

So he speaks the truth for once and gets burned. Can't win for losing. :D

[frizgolf]

So he speaks the truth for once and gets burned. Can't win for losing. :D

Yeah, I think I've read that joke here in some way shape or form before.

[akip]

just goes to show he even has contempt for the handful of gas station attendants who still support him.:p

[ajax]

THE ONION

Latest Cheney Tape May Contain Evidence Of His Whereabouts

WASHINGTON—Reports surfaced Tuesday that the New York–based Fox News Channel has obtained a tape which purportedly features another cryptic video message from U.S. vice president and known extremist Dick Cheney, widely regarded as the most feared man in America.
We have analyzed the tape, and the voice on it matches up with earlier recordings of the vice president," said CIA spokesman George Little, who claimed the tape may contain valuable clues regarding the location of the elusive Cheney, who was last sighted in late 2005 along the border of Maryland and Virginia.

"Though more specific details on his whereabouts have yet to emerge, we do know two things," Little added. "Dick Cheney is still alive, and he is out there somewhere."

rest of the story http://www.theonion.com/content/news/latest_cheney_tape_may_contain

[drougan]

Do a search for "US Naval Observatory" in Google Maps with the Satellite option on, He's somewhere inside the blob. (usually)

[epeolatry]

THE ONION

Latest Cheney Tape May Contain Evidence Of His Whereabouts

WASHINGTON—Reports surfaced Tuesday that the New York–based Fox News Channel has obtained a tape which purportedly features another cryptic video message from U.S. vice president and known extremist Dick Cheney, widely regarded as the most feared man in America.
We have analyzed the tape, and the voice on it matches up with earlier recordings of the vice president," said CIA spokesman George Little, who claimed the tape may contain valuable clues regarding the location of the elusive Cheney, who was last sighted in late 2005 along the border of Maryland and Virginia.

"Though more specific details on his whereabouts have yet to emerge, we do know two things," Little added. "Dick Cheney is still alive, and he is out there somewhere."

rest of the story http://www.theonion.com/content/news/latest_cheney_tape_may_contain

that's amazing :)

[Macpherson]

i hope this is one of those onion stories which the international media picks up and reports as true.

[c-lando]

BRILLIANT! I so LOVE you, The Onion.