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View Full Version : Mich. Man Sentenced in Sheep Abuse Case


despondent
17 Feb 2006, 07:41 PM
Tue Feb 14, 10:13 PM ET
A man who pleaded no contest to a sodomy charge involving a sheep says he should not have to register as a sex offender.

Jeffrey S. Haynes said the state registry is intended to keep track of people who have committed crimes against humans.

But Calhoun County Circuit Court Judge Conrad Sindt told Haynes at his sentencing hearing that once he is released from prison, he must register with the Michigan State Police Public Sex Offender Registry.

Haynes, 42, of Battle Creek, was sentenced Monday to 2 1/2 years to 20 years in prison. He entered the plea in January. A no contest plea is not an admission of guilt but is treated as such for sentencing purposes.

Tamara Towns, an assistant prosecutor for the county, argued that Haynes should be ordered to register as a sex offender because once out of prison, he could prey on children or vulnerable adults.

Haynes said he is not a violent person and would not assault children.

"The prosecutor is being real hard on me for what I did," he said. "But I should not be treated as a child molester."

A telephone call seeking comment was left Tuesday at the Marshall office of defense attorney John B. Sullivan.

Police said Haynes had sex with a sheep at a Bedford Township farm on Jan. 26, 2005. The animal's owner caught him on the property and the sheep was found injured.

Haynes was arrested in June after a DNA sample taken from the animal matched Haynes' genetic material.

Haynes has prior convictions for burglary, home invasion and uttering and publishing, and was on parole for burglary at the time of the sex crime.

markalot
17 Feb 2006, 09:00 PM
Haynes has prior convictions for burglary, home invasion and uttering and publishing,

Uttering and publishing what?

He said sheepishly.

So is this guy on the lamb or what?

twentyshots
17 Feb 2006, 09:22 PM
Uttering and publishing what?

He said sheepishly.

So is this guy on the lamb or what?


good grief.

is it technically a sheepskin condom if the sheep is still attached?

Blank Frank
17 Feb 2006, 09:36 PM
Oh, Battle Creek, MI - I'm glad I don't live near you anymore.

frizgolf
17 Feb 2006, 09:39 PM
"The prosecutor is being real hard on me for what I did," he said.
Imagine what the sheep was thinking.
Heh, heh. He said hard on.

markus
17 Feb 2006, 10:04 PM
that guy wasn't horsin' around! (still my favorite CE/P thread...)

[sheep voice]baa-ah-ah-ah-ah[/sheep voice]

frizgolf
17 Feb 2006, 10:22 PM
Just think: if that sheep got preggers and had a young 'un, said offspring would forever wander the streets asking humans: "are you my daaaady?"

Homsar
17 Feb 2006, 11:11 PM
Hey Tamara Townes: fuck ewe!

markus
17 Feb 2006, 11:19 PM
Hey Tamara Townes: fuck ewe!rubs hands with delight... I knew this thread had mucho potential!

cockney rebel
20 Feb 2006, 09:55 PM
he must register with the Michigan State Police Public Sex Offender Registry.

He's now not allowed to live within 2000 ft of a petting zoo.

wileE
21 Feb 2006, 09:02 AM
Are sheep the gateway animal? From there to horses?

Shlep
21 Feb 2006, 09:12 AM
Fuckin' slut whore sheep was prolly askin' for it...THEY'RE ALWAYS ASKIN' FOR IT!!

markalot
21 Feb 2006, 09:43 AM
I've got cotton mouth.

DaHood
21 Feb 2006, 10:03 AM
Y'all are just WRONG!

:p

Sushi
21 Feb 2006, 10:39 AM
I've got cotton mouth.
ROFLMAO. Literally.

berzerker
21 Feb 2006, 10:51 AM
All this talk of sheep is giving me a wool.


I mean, wood.

wileE
21 Feb 2006, 10:52 AM
ROFLMAO. Literally.
Baaahha-ha-ha-ha

Groove Holmes
21 Feb 2006, 12:17 PM
"Mich. Man sentenced"

after reading the story, I breathed a sigh of relief to learn it wasn't the dude made out of tires.

Homsar
21 Feb 2006, 06:17 PM
I think he escaped jail time out of shear luck.

frizgolf
21 Feb 2006, 06:19 PM
I think he escaped jail time out of shear luck.
Baaah, ha ha ha.
Quite the tall tail you tell.
Spin another yarn.

DaHood
21 Feb 2006, 08:00 PM
*banging head on desk*
Why do I come in here?

why?

*bang*

why?

*bang*

why?

*bang*


:p

markalot
21 Feb 2006, 08:49 PM
Is someone trying to pull the wool over your eyes?

juggles
21 Feb 2006, 08:49 PM
Fuckin' slut whore sheep was prolly askin' for it...THEY'RE ALWAYS ASKIN' FOR IT!!

http://www.geocities.com/SouthBeach/1285/sheep.jpg

juggles
21 Feb 2006, 08:57 PM
"Hey, Jeff what have you been doing lately?"
"Oh, mutton much -- I mean nothin' much. Nothin'."

Homsar
21 Feb 2006, 11:11 PM
So does he use Lamb Chop when he's alone?