Advice for Cubs Fans

[Homsar]

Move to Chicago.
Stop saying Derek Lee is going to be the MVP.
Realize that besides 2003, you haven't won a postseason series since 1908.
Stop cheering at Reds games when your up by 5 in the ninth.

[Iowa]

Move to Chicago.
Stop saying Derek Lee is going to be the MVP.
Realize that besides 2003, you haven't won a postseason series since 1908.
Stop cheering at Reds games when your up by 5 in the ninth.
Now, now, now. We take much delight in any and every small triumph that we gain, mainly because that's all we get. So if you will, let us have our small triumphs.

[noonan]

Stop saying Derek Lee is going to be the MVP.

I think you might have to give them that one. Right on with the other three.

[The Ugly Thief]

Advice for Reds fans :

Don't dog anyone on their team when your's is one of the shittiest in baseball.

v

[Handy Smurf]

Dear Atlanta,
Congratulations on making it to the playoffs for the past 15 years and the World Series about 9 times. Too bad you could only manage to win it once in that span. I bet it feels great to have gone so far but accomplished nothing though, right?

Sincerely,
The 1919, 1940, 1975, 1976, 1990 Cincinnati Reds
;)

[Homsar]

Advice for Reds fans :

Don't dog anyone on their team when your's is one of the shittiest in baseball.

v

I'm just saying he's not going to be the MVP.
And I know we can't have a good, consistent pitcher to save our lives.
That coincides with the word Reds.

[JSpaceman]

Why isn't this in the sports forum again???

[mike]

and so it shall be...

[ms. chevious]

more advice to cubs fans:

when you are stinky and very, very drunk, on your ride home on the red line, SHUT UP! don't embarass yourself even more. the rest of the world doesn't want to hear it (or smell it). don't ask me, in spanish, if there is a bathroom on the cta train. [mind you, it was a pair of white girls trying to get back to the 'burbs who asked me this...i thought of responding in german...]

don't clog up clark and addison. don't drive like an asshole. stick to the shitty bars in wrigleyville; don't bother me down at the l&l or up at the hopleaf. please be sure to do a mass sing-along to "livin on a prayer" while i am stuck in traffic outside yak-zie's or some other sucky bar on clark - at least i get to laugh at you then.

i hate baseball season.

[ms. chevious]

My advice to you:

If you want to keep hopleaf to yourself, I wouldn't go advertising in the sports forum.


...oh, it's already very, very crowded. no chance of "keeping it to myself". but when the crowd is stinky from being at a cubs game all day, that makes it really unpleasant.

[The Ugly Thief]

Dear Atlanta,
Congratulations on making it to the playoffs for the past 15 years and the World Series about 9 times. Too bad you could only manage to win it once in that span. I bet it feels great to have gone so far but accomplished nothing though, right?

Sincerely,
The 1919, 1940, 1975, 1976, 1990 Cincinnati Reds
;)y0, it may suck only winning it once, but at least we get to the playoffs & have a chance to win it all every year. The last time your team got to the postseason we swept their sorry asses under the carpet in 4 games. I bet it feels great to enter every-single-season for the past 10 years knowing that there's not a chance in hell that your team is going to be playing in October.

v

[Handy Smurf]

pffft, I bet the Reds win another World Series before the Braves do


and did a fan of a team that has consistently been the laughingstock of baseball for the past 50 years just refer to the Reds as irrelevant?

[The Ugly Thief]

How many games under .500 do you think the Reds will end up this year ? They're already at a pathetic 16. Do you think they can manage to get to 20 ? 25 ? 30 ?

v

[Handy Smurf]

Average Reds team salary since 1990: $40,768,770
Average Braves team salary since 1990: $55,509,002
Average Cubs team salary since 1990: $50,768,337

If I took the last 5 years, the Braves would be about $40 million higher on average. The Cubs would be closer to $25-30 million higher on average

I'd hope you could field a decent team with a hundred mill

[Sofa King]

How many games under .500 do you think the Reds will end up this year ? They're already at a pathetic 16. Do you think they can manage to get to 20 ? 25 ? 30 ?

v

Quit picking on our little small market team. :P
You can thank them for being:

-The first baseball team to get paid.
-First team to have stadium lights (first team to play games at night)
-First team to have the 7th inning stretch ("The spectators all arise between halves of the seventh inning, extend their legs and arms and sometimes walk about. In so doing they enjoy the relief afforded by relaxation from a long posture upon hard benches." –Brother Jasper, 1869
-First team to be expelled for refusing to stop selling beer during games (fight the power!)
-The first team to have opening day festivities
-The first team to use an airplane to travel from one city to another (Cincinnati to Chicago)

Plus a tiny small market team from a tiny city that has five World Series wins, 9 National League Championships, and 8 Western and Central Division Championships ain't too shabby.

[Handy Smurf]

Marge Schott was pretty funny, too.
Ive never heard anything but the nicest complements about her from anyone who has met her...of course, none of them are black or jewish :p

[The Ugly Thief]

Do you guys wanna make a bet how many games under .500 the Reds will end up this season ? I'll pick a number & if the Reds end up under .500 LESS than that number, then you guys will win.

I'll tell you guys what, I'll take a really extreme number - like 30. This way, I'll be doing you guys a favor, because even if your shitty team ends up being 29 games under .500 you guys can say something like "Yha, my team is really pathetic & was even 29 games under .500 this season - BUT HEY, I WON THIS BET AGAINST A GUY ON THE WOXY MESSAGE BOARDS !!! WOO-HOO !!! BOY WAS HE A SUCKER !!!"

See ? I'll be doing you guys a favor ! I'll be giving you guys something to cheer about even if your team ends up being 29 games under .500 !

no need to thank me, though - it's kool

v

[Handy Smurf]

I'm a softie for gold-digging, chain-smoking, psychopathic, nazi sympathizers. Oh, and I looove St. Bernard's. ;)
Hey, Marge was no gold digger
:p

[Handy Smurf]

Do you guys wanna make a bet how many games under .500 the Reds will end up this season ? I'll pick a number & if the Reds end up under .500 LESS than that number, then you guys will win.

I'll tell you guys what, I'll take a really extreme number - like 30. This way, I'll be doing you guys a favor, because even if your shitty team ends up being 29 games under .500 you guys can say something like "Yha, my team is really pathetic & was even 29 games under .500 this season - BUT HEY, I WON THIS BET AGAINST A GUY ON THE WOXY MESSAGE BOARDS !!! WOO-HOO !!! BOY WAS HE A SUCKER !!!"

See ? I'll be doing you guys a favor ! I'll be giving you guys something to cheer about even if your team ends up being 29 games under .500 !

no need to thank me, though - it's kool

v

don't you have a Hawks message board you should be posting on?
:p

[justsoyaknow]

Hey, a couple of my coworkers from Chicago are in town this week for
the games. Great people, who are big music and Cubs fans. They're having a blast at Newport on the Levee and at the new stadium. Let them have their fun while enjoying their team and our city. sheesh, i'd hate to see what a Reds vs. Yankees thread would look like!!!

[Homsar]

y0, it may suck only winning it once, but at least we get to the playoffs & have a chance to win it all every year.
v

Yeah, a chance, but the 9 times the Braves have been to the WS, they've only won it three times. Once was when the Braves were in Milwaukee and once when they were in Boston.

And we do it WITHOUT quality pitching.

And last time I checked, the Cubs weren't in the running for the postseason.

Cubs fans better hope Lee and Ramirez stay healthy, or the team's run production will drop to about 2.

[the happy prole]

This is kinda stupid isn't it? Neither team has won anything in a long time, and neither team is going to win anything in the next five years.

At least if the Cubs lose Baker real fast and somehow Zambrano, Wood and Prior stay healthy, they have a chance. On the other hand, they're the Cubs.

Cubs fans cheer for their team up 5 in the ninth, because a 5 run lead is not a safe lead-- a feeling I'm sure Reds fans know quite well.

Go hate a team or fans who MATTER.

[sabos_glasses]

anyone who tells you that anything in American sports MATTERS, well, then they are taking themselves, their teams and their sports just a bit too seriously.

I think some things matter...
http://blackhistory.cmgworldwide.com/images/amazon/robinson_autobio_large.jpg

[chuxxter]

This is kinda stupid isn't it?
No stupider than some of the crap on CE/P, dontcha' think???

[Handy Smurf]

No stupider than some of the crap on CE/P, dontcha' think???
Exactamundo

[chuxxter]

Exactamundo
Great minds think alike! (and fools seldom differ, right?) ;)

[chuxxter]

No stupider than some of the crap on CE/P, dontcha' think???
Repeated for emphasis.

[sabos_glasses]

Please. Jackie Robinson is completely irrelevant to 99.9% of the sports arguments. Furthermore, comparing the breaking of the color barrier to a Reds stink/Cubs stink/Braves stink discussion is negligent at best, assinine at worst.

Um, I didn't compare it to the Reds/Cubs/Braves arguement. It is however something in American Sports. If you hadn't said "anything" and just said "most things" I would have surely agreed.

anyone who tells you that anything in American sports MATTERS, well, then they are taking themselves, their teams and their sports just a bit too seriously.

[chuxxter]

Um, I didn't compare it to the Reds/Cubs/Braves arguement. It is however something in American Sports. If you hadn't said "anything" and just said "most things" I would have surely agreed.
BRAVO and congratulations, sir!!

[sabos_glasses]

Common mistake from the spellcheck/autocorrect generation.

[sabos_glasses]

Or, now that I think of it, did you just point out to say, "since you let a minor detail distract from the bigger point, I thought I would do the same."?

[Artpunchehorse]

I have a theory on why the Cubs have a big national following. Yes, they are the loveable losers but I think it has more to do with their games being on WGN all the time.

Nothing was better than being a kid in the summer and watching some really bad Cub teams playing. Remember some of these gems -- Dwight Smith, Jose Vizcaino (who I still follow), Paul Kilgus, Kevin Orie, Damon Berryhill, Keith Moreland, there is more, please feel free to add them

[sabos_glasses]

Rick Sutcliffe?
Jerome Walton?
Dunston?

[jcarwash31]

Didn't Ron Coomer go play for the Cubs after he left the Twins? He was an All-Star you know.

[crazybob60]

Jody Davis, Dave Martinez (as a rookie later joined the Reds), Manny Trillo, and of course Raffy Palmeiro.

and yes, coomer did play for the cubs for one season after leaving the twins.

[Artpunchehorse]

Terry McGriff. For some reason I was rooting for that kid to make it

[crazybob60]

Mike Krukow, Barry Foote, Hector Cruz, Steve Ontiveros

Don't forget another Twin past his prime - Gary (JESUS LIVES!) Gaetti. Should have been manning a rocking chair instead of the Hot Corner.

Wasn't he the Rat?

[jcarwash31]

Couldn't find a picture of him as a Cubbie or sporting his great hair, but here's a good one. You can see his long locks flowing out of his helmet, but he has nothing on top.

http://www.jccardinals.com/1996stl/1996_gaetti_gary_f.JPG

[Artpunchehorse]

I forgot Hector Villenueva

[crazybob60]

and he has one w.s. ring to boot.

[jcarwash31]

and he has one w.s. ring to boot.
1987 Twins. He was a pretty good player in his prime with the Twins. Too bad his prime was in the mid to late 80s.

[DeleteYourself]

Cubs fans are obnoxious. And why couldn't Derek Lee hit like that when he played for the Marlins!? :rolleyes:

[DeleteYourself]

We stole Lee, you stole Dontrelle.

Good point.

[Handy Smurf]

Dontrelle for Clement (as on now)
isnt nearly as big of a steal

to add another old cubby to the list
Heathcliff Slocumb

[HoosierX]

Cub fans were probably still cheering up 5 in the 9th at GAB because most don't know how many innings are in a MLB game. They were too busy comparing their cute pink cubbie visors, puking on their shoes, claiming Harry Carry wrote "Take Me Out to the Ball Game", and yapping ad nausium about the charm of that urinal at Clark and Addison to take the time to learn the basic rules of baseball.

I love Steve Bartman.

[jcarwash31]

Did anyone see how the Cubs managed to lose last night? Talk about a little league play. Yeesh.

[May Kil June]

Cub fans were probably still cheering up 5 in the 9th at GAB because most don't know how many innings are in a MLB game. They were too busy comparing their cute pink cubbie visors, puking on their shoes, claiming Harry Carry wrote "Take Me Out to the Ball Game", and yapping ad nausium about the charm of that urinal at Clark and Addison to take the time to learn the basic rules of baseball.

I love Steve Bartman.


This coming from someone behind the cheese curtain??? Inferiority complex much?

And by the way, that stereotype is sooooo tired. About as tired as that sleepy little town of yours gets around 8pm on a Saturday.

[Homsar]

How DID the Cubs manage to lose?
Wait, was it the passed ball?

[jcarwash31]

How DID the Cubs manage to lose?
Wait, was it the passed ball?
I'm talking about, well...first I think they walked a couple of batters to load the bases. Then they struck out the batter with a pitch in the dirt. The batter reacted by moving toward first base but stopped since he couldn't go. The other runners started going and the catcher threw it to third allowing the runner to score, just like a little leaguer would.

[Orville Wrong]

Same advice every season since, er, 1910 or so: Wait till next year, you fat, sorry slob.

[Artpunchehorse]

I friggin hate Cub fans. I went up to Wrigley to watch the Reds a couple years ago with my girlfriend. I moment I stepped on the EL, we were both heckled by some wannabe thug punks wearing DePaul shirts.

[xu92]

My buddy from Chicago summed up Cubs fans in the bleachers perfectly;

"Who's pitching?"

"I don't know"

"Who's Winning"

"I don't know"

"Hey I think Sammy just hit a homerun."

"Huh, oh great, WAY TO GO SAMMY!!"

"Hey where's the beer guy at."

[Orville Wrong]

Other advice: Suicide yourself while I steal your girlfriend.

[Artpunchehorse]

Not F-Bombs

[Orville Wrong]

If you're upset about being razzed while wearing opposing colors, then you need to grow a thicker skin or lose the reds gear. Seriously, what did you expect?
I would have beaten them to death with their own severed arms (which I would, of course, sever myself. With my teeth.) I would kill their mothers, fathers, siblings and extended family. I would raze their hometown to the ground (if a fucking cow can do it so can I!) and I would salt the tear- and blood-soaked earth of Cook county with the ground bones of nasal-accented school children.

But that's just how I roll.

[Artpunchehorse]

I'm cool with good natured ribbing. Hell, I love doing it to visiting teams in Cincy, but this was out of control. I remember looking at my girlfriend and she was scared to death.

I did meet some cool people in Chicago though

[Emperor Wog]

The Reds sweep the Cubs!

http://images.usatoday.com/sports/baseball/_photos/2004-05-24-reds-sweep.jpg