Just not that into you....

[EhChicky!]

So for my birthday last week, Oprah bought me a book.

Okay, not really but her show directly influenced my loving boss, Ann, to purchase me a book featured on her show... this little gem is called "He's just not that into you."

I'm single so there can't be any underlying message there... can there be? At anyrate, the boss seems to think that every girl needs this book so I thought I would pass this on and maybe save someone 20 bucks. The book is amusing is some parts but a bit depressing that women even need a book like this.

Chapters: He's just not into you if:

Ch. 1) He's not asking you out...
Ch. 2) He's not calling you
Ch. 3) He's not dating you
Ch. 4) He's not having sex with you
Ch. 5) He's having sex with someone else
Ch. 6) He only wants to see you when he's drunk
Ch. 7) He doesn't want to marry you
Ch. 8) He is breaking up with you
Ch. 9) He's Disappeared on you (my personal favourite)
Ch.10) He's married and other insane various of being unavailable
Ch. 11) He's a selfish JerK, a bully or really big freak.

Did he get everything?
Anyway, there it is... a short, interesting read if you have nothing better to do.

[azinser81]

Thank you.
Now I know why am not interested in someone.
Well at least I don't have to read the book now b/c I learned everything in the book just from the Chapter Titles.

I think I might be the really big freak :D

[CtJester]

Originally posted by EhChicky!
Chapters: He's just not into you if:

Ch. 1) He's not asking you out...
Ch. 2) He's not calling you
Ch. 3) He's not dating you
Ch. 4) He's not having sex with you
Ch. 5) He's having sex with someone else
Ch. 6) He only wants to see you when he's drunk
Ch. 7) He doesn't want to marry you
Ch. 8) He is breaking up with you
Ch. 9) He's Disappeared on you (my personal favourite)
Ch.10) He's married and other insane various of being unavailable
Ch. 11) He's a selfish JerK, a bully or really big freak.

So, is the male version then:

'Pussywhipped: He's REALLY Into You'?

Chapter 1: He asks you out
Chapter 2: He calls every ten minutes
Chapter 3: He married you
Chapter 4: He wants it every night, but she refuses
Chapter 5: Let's try swinging!
Chapter 6: He likes you better when he's sober
Chapter 7: So, you're already married, reread chapter 3.
Chapter 8: Hellllllooooo, chapter 3?
Chapter 9: He won't leave your side.
Chapter 10: Giving the wife a curfew.
Chapter 11: PMS, Menopause and you

Sounds a little bit lopsided there (and after watching the author interviews on the 'Today' show, it's written by former 'Sex and the City' writers, so it doesn't surprise me at all....).

-ct

[classicgrrl]

that damned thing is on our best seller list.

frankly I don't get it. so what if he's not into you? big shit! he's probably a dumb ass anyway...

[The Stunt Cock]

He's just not that into you if...

1) He's not asking you out...
2) He's not calling you
3) He's not dating you
4) He's not having sex with you
5) He's having sex with someone else
6) He only wants to see you when he's drunk
7) He doesn't want to marry you
8) He is breaking up with you
9) He's Disappeared on you (my personal favourite)
10) He's married and other insane various of being unavailable
11) He's a selfish JerK, a bully or really big freak.

And now the diplomatic response from the male point of view:

1) Welcome to the wonderful world of equal rights. Ask him out if he's so swell.
2) Maybe you have a very unpleasant telephone voice. Or maybe you just talk too much. Or maybe your phone is really staticy. I don't blame him for not calling.
3) You're right. Guys are only ever interested in the girls they're dating. We never ever think of any other girls. That would be ridiculous.
4) He probably would if you'd just ask. Try it.
5) What does this necessarily have to do with you?
6) It could be just a coincidence. Maybe he thinks you're fantastic and wants to see you all the time, but at the same time sobriety sucks and he wants to be drunk all the time.
7) Maybe he doesn't want to get married at all. Nothing to do with you.
8) Maybe he's just playing really, REALLY hard to get.
9) It could have nothing to do with you at all. Like maybe he's a ninja. Those guys disappear all the time. I'm sure their girlfriends have learned not to take it personally.
10) I agree that being married is insane. Good call on the part of the author.
11) Actually it's quite possible that a selfish jerk, a bully, or a really big freak is into you. It's just likely that you shouldn't be into him back.

[mobyoctopad]

I hate these common sense books masquerading as something informative and helpful. Fuck off. What a waste of money. And it all started with the sham that are diet books. People are willing to pay to have someone tell them eat less exercise more. What is that?! I mean I know what it is, it's about consumerism and how people think that in order to do ANYTHING and have it be worthwhile, they have to spend money.

[LadyJo]

Originally posted by classicgrrl
that damned thing is on our best seller list.

frankly I don't get it. so what if he's not into you? big shit! he's probably a dumb ass anyway...

We had this book on our shelves for weeks and it barely made a ripple. Oprah puts it on her show and POOF every woman, young and old, is coming into the store looking for it. We sold our stock in one day, plus the publisher sold out because of the demand, and it had to get back ordered. I shit you not, we had about 40 orders for it, and some women ordered multiple copies to give to their friends. I flipped through it, and as it's been pointed out, this is basically a common sense book. You don't need to drop 20 bucks to figure out he's not that into you. I'm convinced that in a couple months it would have ended up on the return shelves if Oprah didn't recommend it. The power that woman has scares me sometimes.

[classicgrrl]

Originally posted by LadyJo


We had this book on our shelves for weeks and it barely made a ripple. Oprah puts it on her show and POOF every woman, young and old, is coming into the store looking for it. We sold our stock in one day, plus the publisher sold out because of the demand, and it had to get back ordered. I shit you not, we had about 40 orders for it, and some women ordered multiple copies to give to their friends. I flipped through it, and as it's been pointed out, this is basically a common sense book. You don't need to drop 20 bucks to figure out he's not that into you. I'm convinced that in a couple months it would have ended up on the return shelves if Oprah didn't recommend it. The power that woman has scares me sometimes.

the idiocy of the American buying public is what scares me.

[Louisianagrl]

My collective group of married friends is BEGGING me to read this book. So, I looked it up on Amazon and I am familiar with the "Sex and the City" episode the title references. Anyhow, here's what I have come to realize-this book does NOTHING but once again perpetuate the "poor pitiful single girl" 'tude. Here's a concept:

After years of feeling like I am competing to be someone's girlfriend, why shouldn't they compete to be my boyfriend? If they're too stupid to call or write or anything, then they weren't worth my time to begin with! Hello-I have more pride than that! There is no magic answer as to why all guys or girls for that matter (because let's face it-we aren't totally innocent-I speak from experience)behave in a certain manner. Everyone is different. And things take time. And what I have learned is for every guy that is "just not into me"-there's 50 more that ARE (and are worth it!)

Sorry books like this just p*ss me off.

[classicgrrl]

Originally posted by Louisianagrl
Sorry books like this just p*ss me off.

you and me both.

saw another winner titled 'how to get married after 35.'

I turn 35 next year.
I do not want to get married.

just who are these eejits marketing to anyway?

[aqualou]

Gathering from the chapters, if you can figure this out, you prob can't read either.

Ch. 6) He only wants to see you when he's drunk guilty (or at least i was at one time)

[LadyJo]

Originally posted by classicgrrl


you and me both.

saw another winner titled 'how to get married after 35.'

I turn 35 next year.
I do not married.

just who are these eejits marketing to anyway?

I'm almost there myself. I guess I'd better hurry up and find a husband or I'll end up on the shelf. :rolleyes:

Besides, why don't these fools do some research and find out how many married women under the age of 35 are happy?

[turdferguson]

This whole thing makes me think of the Ben Folds/Wm Shatner song which has the line...

"You're right. I can't commit.... to you."

Sorry can't remember the song title.

[classicgrrl]

Originally posted by LadyJo


I'm almost there myself. I guess I'd better hurry up and find a husband or I'll end up on the shelf. :rolleyes:

Besides, why don't these fools do some research and find out how many married women under the age of 35 are happy?


you said what I did not have the courage to say.

marriage is for men.

now, quick duck and run before we get flamed...

[Louisianagrl]

35?!? And not married?!? Dear GOD (note sarcasm)

I am 26 and ALL of my friends are married or engaged. What am I? HAPPY NOT BEING SO! I have an awesome job and believe me when I say that my love life is ten thousand times more exciting than many of my friends. And I wouldn't trade THAT for anything.

It's funny-I told one of my closest friends last week that I didn't want to have kids and she more or less condemned me. I am therefore a bad person because I DON'T WANT to make babies and pies. Maybe I'd rather have a cool job and enjoy myself!

Like I said, this isn't about competing to be someone's girlfriend. It is ALL about them competing to be our boyfriends. If we choose.

[LunaSea]

Originally posted by classicgrrl



you said what I did not have the courage to say.

marriage is for men.

now, quick duck and run before we get flamed... Interesting thought. Care to elaborate? (And maybe I'm not aware of the whole issue here, but I don't see why you'd get flamed for that.)

[brainslosh]

Originally posted by mobyoctopad
I hate these common sense books masquerading as something informative and helpful. Fuck off. What a waste of money. And it all started with the sham that are diet books. People are willing to pay to have someone tell them eat less exercise more. What is that?! I mean I know what it is, it's about consumerism and how people think that in order to do ANYTHING and have it be worthwhile, they have to spend money.

Unfortuantely many people lack common sense about a range of things, and it really is helpful.

Dating's such a tough situation 'cuz not only do you have to figure out if you're compatible and ready, but also you have to figure out what rules the other person is playing by. And then there are common sense things like communication, honesty, consistency, and thoughtfulness that elude people.

The really unfortunate part of the situation is that there's a rich market to tap here, and I haven't thrown my hat in the ring...

[mobyoctopad]

I just feel that the only way you learn common sense is by living life, confiding in people, getting feedback and reactions, realizing who you personally are in relation to other people through real life experience. Books like these are so generalizing and negate the fact that everybody has their own unique approach to relationships.