completely unrelated sociopolitical thoughts...

[Duemellon]

Back from the dead

best two-liner in a while:
http://www.theonionavclub.com/ssf/index.php?issue=4031

I guess the real question is what is funny to me. Well, that's easy. Jesus is funny to me.

Why? Because He died for my sins and He didn't even know me. Man, what a retard.

[postfeminist]

i like louis c.k. i think he's hilarious.

I guess the real question is what is funny to me. Well, that's easy. Jesus is funny to me.
Why? Because He died for my sins and He didn't even know me. Man, what a retard.

that would be a great sig line....

[yoshomon]

Anyone, but Bush and Cheney,
When the Dems are just as zany,
Why do, the Democrats make us wary?
Just look at, the record of John F. Kerry!:

More troops in Iraq
Supporting the PATRIOT Act
Anti-choice, Pro War
Who the fuck are you voting for?

You hypocrites, enough of it.
The Democrats, are full of shit!
Peekaboo, we see thru you,
Your votes have made you guilty too.

You voted for NAFTA
We know what you're afta
And what becomes of all your power?
A burning earth, no benefits,
10 cents an hour.

YOUUU hypocrite, enough of it!
The Democrats are full of shit!
Peekaboo, we see thru you.
Your votes have made you guilty too!!

[angryj5]

yep, two parties, still no choice.

[ICONOCLAST420]

Democrats and Republicans: Same shit, different piles.

[motorcitysonics]

The difference between Republicans and Democrats is Democrats don't turn religion into something evil.

[ICONOCLAST420]

Most religions are inherently evil.

[Necromancer]

Most religions inherently have really good intentions, but people inherently want the world to make sense, so they try make the world into what they want it to be. Whether the world wants it or not.

[spud]

most religions are boring.

[Duemellon]

Good is boring.

[Duemellon]

Subject: President Outsourced

Washington DC - Congress today announced that the Office of President of the United States will be outsourced to overseas interests as of June 30th, the end of this fiscal year. The move is being made to save $400K a year in salary,a record $521 Billion in deficit expenditures and related overhead. "The cost savings will be quite significant" says Congressman Adam Smith (D -Wash) who, with the aid of the GAO (the General Accounting Office) has studied outsourcing of American jobs extensively. "We simply can no longer afford this level of outlay and remain competitive in the world stage", Congressman Smith said.

Mr. Bush was informed by email this morning of the termination of his position. He will receive health coverage, expenses and salary until his final day of employment. After that, with a two week waiting period, he will then be eligible for $240 dollars a week from unemployment insurance for 13 weeks. Unfortunately he will not be able to receive state Medicaid health insurance coverage as his unemployment benefits are over the required limit.

Preparations have been underway for some time for the job move. Sanji Gurvinder Singh of Indus Teleservices, Mumbai, India will be assuming the Office of President of the United States as of July 1. Mr. Singh was born in the United States while his parents were here on student visas, thus making him eligible for the position. He will receive a salary of $320 (USD) a month but with no health coverage or other benefits. Due to the time difference between the US and India, Mr. Singh will be working primarily at night, when offices of the US Government will be open.

"I am excited to serve in this position," Mr. Singh stated in an exclusive interview. "Working nights will let me keep my day job at the American Express call center. I always knew I could be President someday." Congress stressed patience when calling Mr. Singh as he may not be fully aware of all the issues involved with his new position. A Congressional Spokesperson noted that Mr. Singh has been given a script tree to follow which will allow him to respond to most topics of concern. The Spokesperson further noted that "additional savings will be realized as these scripting tools have been successfully used by Mr. Bush and will enable Mr. Singh to provide an answer without having to fully understand the issue itself."

Mr. Bush has been offered the use of a Congressional Page to help him write a resume and prepare for his upcoming job transition. According to Manpower, Inc., the placement firm, Mr. Bush may have difficulties in securing a new position as job prospects in the Sports Franchise Ownership arena remain limited. A recently released report from the Pentagon suggests a good prospect for him as a newly unemployed person may be in the Army National Guard. There he would be called up with his unit and stationed in Iraq, a country he has visited briefly before. "I've been there, I know all about Iraq and the conditions there," stated Mr. Bush. He gained invaluable knowledge of the country in his first visit at the Baghdad Airport non-smoking terminal and gift shop.

Meanwhile in Baghdad and Falluja, Iraq, sources report that local Iraqis say Mr. Bush would receive an especially warm reception from them. Such sources stated the Iraqis only request would be to be informed of which convoy he would be riding in order to give him the welcome he deserves.

Congress continues to explore other outsourcing possibilities including that of Vice-president and most Cabinet positions.

[m0ther of earth]

:D

I love this

[matt]

Edited.

[jps]

that is good stuff!

[ICONOCLAST420]

Good one Due, if only it were true.

[Duemellon]

Bike Protest Pix

http://www.livejournal.com/users/whimsical_clod/23357.html#cutid1

Big post, so the important things were the 1st & 2nd paragraph. Even I didn't read the whole email methodically:

From: Starhawk
To: Starhawk@lists.riseup.net ; livriv
Sent: Saturday, August 28, 2004 8:44 AM
Subject: [starhawk] RNC update 7 Bikes and Bones

RNC Update 7 Bikes and Bones
By Starhawk

Last night the police broke bones. They surrounded and arrested hundreds in Critical Mass, the giant mass bicycle ride, that took off from Union Square with two to three thousand bicycles.
...
And if you can’t come yourself, we need you to be ready to make calls and send emails and faxes and letters on our behalf, to apply that political pressure that just might prevent more broken bones.

Below is a list of useful numbers and emails; you might start by calling Bloomberg and the police and ask why they arrest bicyclists? Thanks!

www.starhawk.org